Come Back
by VolcanicPizza
Summary: Circus Baby's Pizza World was never closed and the cycle marched on. Many years later, the robots no longer carry out their dreadful duties during the day thanks to the pizzeria falling under new management and have resorted, like so many before them, to attacking the night guards. Now, yet another guard joins the show, but as they'll quickly learn, he's not here for the paycheck.
1. Devils in the Doorway

**A/N: Greetings! In case the summary wasn't clear enough (it almost certainly wasn't), this is basically my take on Sister Location in the style of FNAF 1, except I ended up changing several things in order to avoid it being a generic FNAF 1 reskin, so now it's more like 40% FNAF 1, 40% Sister Location, 10% elements of the other games I decided to put in, and 10% original ideas I came up with while I was figuring out the plot. As for how this ties back into the original games- more specifically, the exact point where it diverges from the canon timeline- that'll be addressed later on. F** **or now, enjoy our lovely protagonist making a fool of himself instead!**

 **...**

 **...God, he needs a babysitter.**

 **Warning: This chapter contains several references to suicide.**

My maddened, off-key screeching echoed around the halls of the empty pizzeria as I whirled in circles on the swivel chair the company had thoughtfully provided for me. My fingers were starting to ache, I was getting pretty dizzy by this point, and my throat was hurting a little from all the screaming...

...and I couldn't care less.

Because as far as I knew, I had the entire building to myself for the next six hours, and like hell I wasn't going to abuse that privilege.

"KILL YOURSEEEEELF!" I sang obnoxiously, nearly whirling out the door. "IT'LL BE OVER IN A MINUTE! YOU'LL BE GLAD THAT YOU DID IT! JUST GO OVER TO YOUR OVEN AND SHOVE YOUR HEAD IN IT!"

In hindsight, it's pretty easy to see why the animatronics decided to attempt to kill me. I probably would've wanted to kill me in their place, too (well, more than I usually do).

However, in order to understand why I was spinning around standing on a swivel chair playing an air keytar while screaming Bo Burnham's "Kill Yourself" at the top of my lungs at midnight in a children's pizzeria in the first place, some mandatory exposition will very likely be required.

Such is the danger of beginning a story _in media res,_ I suppose.

* * *

It seemed to be a relatively innocent children's entertainment venue. With a name like "Circus Baby's Pizza World," you wouldn't really expect anything but a generic Chuck E. Cheese ripoff.

Was I particularly proud of being reduced to the level where I had no other option but to attempt to get a job in such a place? Absolutely not. But I wouldn't be particularly proud of starving to death, either, and given how much money I'd ended up having to spend moving into this new house, that could end up a very real possibility.

My initial introduction to the restaurant didn't change much from my earlier interpretation of it. A bunch of garishly colored robots that were just creepy enough to make me slightly paranoid but nothing more? Pretty much the norm for places like this. Screaming herds of children twirling in cacophonous spirals that made me wish I'd bought noise-cancelling headphones before coming here? Well, admittedly I hadn't expected a place like this to be _that_ popular among children, but it certainly wasn't unheard of.

The interview was surprisingly brief, but if they were going to be practically handing out jobs with decent pay, I wasn't going to question it. The contract was a little... off, but not so much so that I wasn't going to sign it anyway.

And that was that. I was hired as the security guard on the night shift and told to come in a little before midnight to begin my shift. Apparently they'd left behind some recordings for me to listen to just in case I was a complete idiot (which wasn't the case but also wasn't far off the mark), but I didn't bother to listen to them.

Instead, I carefully swept the entire restaurant to make sure there was nobody else around, and as the clock chimed twelve I selected my instrument. Most average idiots would have immediately jumped to an air guitar as their weapon of choice. I, however, am an intellectual, and so I opted for the more refined air keytar.

With that out of the way, all I had to do was decide what song I was going to humiliate myself with by singing off-key. Naturally, I chose an old classic.

"Have you ever felt sad or lonely? Have you ever felt two feet tall?"

I actually had zero clue what playing a keytar was like, but I'd learned piano before and that was close enough that I felt I could play air keytar well enough.

"Have you ever thought 'man, if only I was anybody else at all?'"

In general, I can't be expected to remain serious for very long, especially when left unattended. I'm able to put up a pretense of formality when needed, absolutely- I was able to pretend to be a competent, responsible individual throughout the entirety of the job interview, after all- but I can't keep it up forever. I'm only human.

"They like to kick you when times get rough, and you give your all, but it's not enough!"

With that in mind, then, it was quite admirable that I'd managed to remain comparatively placid for so long.

"And sticks and stones might break your bones, but words can break your heart!"

However, nothing lasts forever, and... well, let's just say I got too into it.

"So if you don't know where to go I'll show you where to staaaaart!"

So the next thing I knew, I was spinning around the office, standing on the swivel chair, horribly butchering the chorus of one of my favorite songs while simultaneously demonstrating how not to play an air keytar.

"KILL YOURSEEEEEELF!"

I'm very good at multitasking, as you can see.

It was about when I'd gotten to the end of the second verse that a garbled robotic voice shrieked "OH, BIRTHDAY BOY!" from the depths of the pizzeria, and that's when we get into really big trouble.

"Wait, what the hell was that?" I wobbled and fell from the chair, just barely managing to catch myself before face-planting onto the dirty floor. With a reluctant groan, I pulled myself up again and booted up the company-issued laptop. "At least I don't have to leave the debatable comfort of my office to check."

It's quite likely that you're thinking that I'm being far too calm about this, and you're right, I was. I could come up with several justifications for this that you'd probably be dumb enough to believe... or I could just admit that I was only able to keep up an outer semblance of calmness because I'm a fairly decent actor.

In hindsight, I don't know why I bothered. It's not like I thought anyone would see me or anything.

I am not a very logical individual.

I frantically clicked around the cameras for a couple seconds before realizing that the white robot bear with the hand puppet was missing from the main stage, having shifted position to the dining hall in front of it. He flashed a slightly deranged grin at the camera before swinging his head back towards the stage, as though he'd heard something. After a moment of hesitation, he walked back up onto the stage and froze in place, as though nothing had ever happened.

"...what?" I blinked hesitantly, unsure whether any of that had actually happened. Just to be sure, I did a quick scan of the restaurant, but everything seemed fine: the three robots on the stage- the clown with pigtails, the ballerina, and the aforementioned bear with a rabbit puppet- were standing there placidly as though they were about to perform, and the fox animatronic was slumped over, deactivated, on its own separate stage.

"...must've imagined the whole thing." I shook my head, instinctual self-distrust setting in, only to be stopped mid-shake by the phone ringing.

A night call? Who'd be calling a place like this at midnight? I picked up the phone and held it a careful distance from my ear, just in case there was someone on the other end with an air horn. (I had a bad experience with that once.) "Hello?"

"...would you happen to be the night guard?" a young woman's voice asked quietly.

"Uh, yeah, th-that's me." Naturally, paranoia quickly set in. "Who are you?"

The voice completely ignored my question- not suspicious at all. "Listen carefully to what I am about to tell you. If you do not listen to me, you will die."

"Wowie, I'm getting death threats now? I'm pretty sure that's one of the first signs that you're famous! Golly, I honestly never thought I'd hit this milestone!" A stupid thing to say, really, but I tend to get pretty snarky when I'm stressed. Probably a coping mechanism or something, like most of my behavior is.

Again, the voice completely ignored me- a shame, I thought that was a fairly clever quip. "The animatronics in this establishment, as I believe you just saw, are not deactivated at night."

"How unfortunate." Did this mean the robot really _had_ moved? _Well, golly, what else could it mean, you idiot?_ I snapped at myself mentally a couple seconds later.

"Indeed. They are left active at all periods and allowed to freely roam the building. Unfortunately, they tend to grow... restless. They don't like that the people in charge of this establishment believe that they need to be monitored at all times, and in their irritation, will very likely try to kill you."

Most people would've called out the person on the other end as a coworker trying to pull some lame excuse for a prank, but I'm not most people. In a way, I was almost hoping that whatever the lady on the other end was saying was true- it'd probably be the most exciting thing that happened to me in the entirety of my pathetic life.

"I don't think that they'll put in a lot of effort to come after you tonight." the woman continued. "They probably don't expect very much of you."

 _And they are completely right,_ I thought, though I kept silent.

"They will only send Funtime Freddy after you, but he should be relatively easy to counter. You see the large red buttons next to the doors on your left and right?"

"Yeah..." I replied hesitantly. Given some of the high-tech stuff this place apparently had, I was half expecting a lightsaber to pop out of the wall as I pressed the button on my right. Instead, all that happened was that a metal door slammed down from the ceiling with a resounding _clang._

I flinched slightly, pressing the button to open the door again. I've never been good with loud noises. "Alright... if I've got these doors, then why don't I just keep them shut all the time?"

"That's because the building's power will cut out if you use them for too long, dummy." A hint of annoyance entered the woman's voice, though it quickly returned to neutral as she continued. "Freddy will wander down the hallways towards your office. Usually, he will simply shout various recycled lines from his shows as he walks down the hall, and you will need to close the appropriate door depending on where you hear him coming from."

"Seems pretty straightforward." I nodded.

"However, you will need to pay close attention to what he says. If he says something along the lines of 'Get ready for a surprise,' then you need to immediately shut the opposite door. When he says that, he will send his puppet to loop around the building and attack from the other side. If you do not react quickly, you will die."

I raised an eyebrow skeptically. "You're telling me a tiny plastic hand puppet is going to kill me?"

"No, but he will break the door on that side. That will leave it free for Freddy to circle around and enter the office."

"...okay, that makes sense. Is that all?"

"For tonight, yes. I will tell you if anything changes."

"Alright, got it. Thanks for the tips."

"...you're being awfully calm about the prospect of death by robots." ventured the voice slowly.

I let out a deadpan sigh. "Well, in the words of a great man, 'This might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird.'" I'd been waiting almost half a year for an opportunity to use that quote, and now seemed as good a time as any.

"...well, I suppose I will leave you to it." the woman said. "If things change tomorrow, I will let you know." With that, the phone went dead.

With an apathetic sigh, I leaned back in my chair and brought up the tablet. "Alrighty. Let's get this over with, shall we?"

* * *

Though the next several hours weren't as stressful as they could've been, they were certainly quite nerve-racking nonetheless. I watched Funtime Freddy like a hawk (forgive the overused simile) as he wandered around the building, slamming the doors shut in his face whenever he even came close to them. I didn't think I'd ever get used to the sound of the doors slamming down, but after an hour I wasn't even flinching anymore. (Good job, me. You finally did something right for once. Proud of you.)

The information the woman had given me proved to be accurate, right down to the detail about the rabbit puppet. I could tell when had given up and wandered off down the hallway, or when the hand puppet had circled back around to him, by the metallic _thunk_ noise from outside when they left. Realistically, I knew he was probably just punching the door out of anger at not catching me off guard (heh, unintentional pun) or something like that, but I chose to believe that he was smacking face-first into the door each time for the sake of the humorous mental images that conjured up.

And just like the lady on the phone had said he would be, he was quite the talkative guy: some stuff, like "Hey, Bon-Bon, I think that's the birthday boy over there! We should go give him a surprise!" was very obviously regurgitated dialogue from the pizzeria's shows, "I see you over there in the dark!" was a bit more questionable but could probably be explained away similarly, but the one time I heard him shout "Big news from Oxi-Clean!" had to have been a glitch, because I couldn't think of any reason why Anthony Sullivan quotes would be programmed into an entertainment robot.

Unless I just hallucinated him saying that from sleep deprivation. I wasn't used to staying up so late, and that kind of thing had happened to me before, so it's not like that was out of the question.

It wasn't until the clock chimed 6 AM- the end of my shift- that it occurred to me to check how much power I had left. As Funtime Freddy stormed back to his stage with an angry cry of "What a party pooper!", I glanced down at the corner of the screen.

There was only three percent left.

 _Three percent._

There was a familiar sinking feeling in my stomach as I closed the laptop and leaned back in my chair, heart pounding. Just a few more minutes would've been all it would've taken, and I'd have run out of power.

Leaving the doors open for Freddy to get in and kill me.

With a subdued sigh, I stood up and kicked the chair aside. Well, it didn't run out, and there was no point in pondering pointless counterfactuals.

I left the office and made my way towards the door, but stopped at the last second, my attention turning back to the three animatronics on the main stage. For some reason, laughter surged up from somewhere within, but I suppressed it.

Stepping up in front of the stage, I regarded Funtime Freddy apathetically. He didn't look like he was going to jump out and attack me, so I decided to engage in some completely unnecessary gloating. If he was going to try to kill me, I should at least give him a reason to hate me, you know? It's just the courteous thing to do.

"Howdy!" I chirped cheerfully, plastering my best shit-eating grin across my face and hoping he couldn't hear my heart pounding as loudly as I could. "Guess you didn't manage to kill me. Proper shame, isn't it? Not like it would've made a difference if you had, though- I'm already dead inside, so you'd really only be finishing the job for me before I have to."

One of Freddy's faceplates shifted slightly, so I took a subtle step back. "Aw, it's okay, don't cry! Tomorrow's another day, and if you're lucky, you might be able to catch me _off guard_!" You better bet I'm gonna milk that pun for all it's worth. You're probably going to hear it several times over the next couple chapters. "I'm rooting for you, Freddy! I believe in you!"

With that, I turned and strode towards the exit, humming the first few bars of Sound of Silence. I had a feeling I was going to regret taking this job a lot less than a completely sane person would have.


	2. Enemy Returning

**A/N: Oh, boy, here I go updating at 2:30 in the morning like the dysfunctional excuse for a human being that I am! Well, better late than never, right?**

* * *

On the surface, I had no good reason for returning to Circus Baby's. It wasn't like there was something in the contract saying that I couldn't up and quit, and despite what I'd told Funtime Freddy the night before, I wasn't really that suicidal anymore. (Besides, being torn to pieces by robots isn't exactly how I'd prefer to go out.) Yet here I was, dragging myself out of my car and into the restaurant, ready to begin my second night.

Either I had ulterior motives, or I'm just an idiot. Take your pick.

Strolling through the front doors, hands in the pockets of my battered purple hoodie, I glanced over at the stage briefly. After a moment of consideration, I decided to leave the robots be. I'd taunted Freddy enough the night before, after all. Instead, I merely hurried down the hallway to the office as fast as I could. It wouldn't be midnight for several minutes now, but there was no harm in getting everything set up and preparing myself ahead of time.

Plopping down into the swivel chair with a subdued sigh, I booted up the laptop and proceeded to stare down the stage. All the robots were stiff and still, staring straight ahead, but then again, Freddy hadn't moved until later in the night last time, so I'd probably have a bit to prepare myself mentally before he came charging down the hall again. It's not like he'd start moving faster each night or something, that'd just be stupid.

I wished that I could've brought a weapon with me, if for no other reason than to make myself feel a little less powerless, but the metal detector at the entrance would've tripped if I'd brought my gun. Besides, I'd probably get fired if I shot the animatronics, and that was the last thing I needed right now.

The phone rang, and I reached over to grab it, guessing already that the woman from last night would be on the phone again. "Hello?"

"You didn't leave. Curious." the voice mused.

I guessed correctly, then. Leaning back in my chair, I said, "Let's just say I've got my own reasons for being here. I take it you're here to warn me about some new, annoying thing the robots came up with to try to commit a violence?"

To her credit, the voice didn't react to my purposely poor grammar. Instead, all she said was, "Just as intuitive as always. Fortunately, you only need worry about one new threat tonight, for now."

I managed a weak laugh. "That's reassuring."

"As it should be." the voice replied neutrally. "The only new animatronic that will be activating tonight is Ballora."

I glanced down at the laptop, clicking over to the camera at the main stage. "The ballerina robot?" I guessed.

"Correct." the voice said. "Her movements are easy to predict, as long as you are quiet and listen carefully. You see, wherever she goes, the music box inside her is always running, quietly playing its little tune over and over. You won't need to watch for her on the cameras as long as you listen. If you hear the sound of her music box near one of your doors, all you must do is shut the door and wait for the music to recede. She keeps her eyes closed, so she relies heavily on her other senses- namely, hearing. The noise from the door slamming shut will disorient her, and she will retreat. How long for, I cannot say."

I was suddenly very grateful that I'd acclimated myself to the sound of the doors shutting already. "Does she ever open her eyes?"

"Sometimes." said the woman, a hint of mirth in her voice. "But I would not worry about it. If you ever see her open her eyes, you are already dead. So it shouldn't be a problem as long as you are vigilant."

"G-got it. Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of." the woman said. "They're about to start moving. I would suggest you get ready." With that, the line went dead.

"And I would suggest that you ask management to just delete whatever part of their programming is making them attack me." I muttered, setting the phone down.

With that, I returned my focus to the laptop. "Alrighty. Let's just get this over, then, shall we?" I would have cracked my knuckles for dramatic effect, but I would have been the only person around to see it and I've never actually tried it before because I was always scared I would break my fingers.

Unsurprisingly, Funtime Freddy was the first to activate. His eyes opened with a compressed flash of blue light, he took a glance up at the camera before lurching off the stage, and I got ready to start what would be no doubt be a very long and unfulfilling game of hide-and-seek.

* * *

"Open up in there!" the animatronic bear giggled demonically, pounding his plastic fist against the door.

With a brief sigh, I glanced down at the bottom corner of the laptop. It was 2:56 and already I was having trouble keeping my power at decent levels. Before coming to work, I'd done some quick mental math (that's a lie, I had to pull out a calculator. Having dyscalculia is fun.) and figured out that I should be using about 16% of my power per hour in order to keep from running out, but it wasn't even 3 AM yet and already I was down to 48%.

Things were not looking so good for me.

"Don't be afraid! I just wanna say hi!" cackled Funtime Freddy, his leering face peering through the glass window. I briefly wondered why he didn't just smash the glass to get in, but dismissed the thought almost immediately. I didn't need him reading my expression and getting any clever ideas.

"If you'd like to greet me, please do so through the window." I called back in a dry professional tone, never looking up from the laptop, finger hovering over the door button to open it the instant he left. "You don't need to be inside the office to do that, and I'm pretty sure you're not allowed in here, anyway."

"Party pooper." grunted the robot, giving the door a final smack before departing. I pressed the door button with a shaking finger before returning my attention to the cameras, watching him stalk off back to the dining area-

Huh. What was that noise? I could just barely hear the sound of a music box tinkling away from down the right hallway, but it wasn't any tune I was familiar with. And it sounded like it was... getting closer?

It was getting closer at a pretty fast rate, actually. Was this something I should be worried about?

Wait, the voice on the phone had said something about this! The music box was my cue that the ballerina robot was coming or something, right?

No time to try to remember exactly what she had said. I slammed the right door shut purely on panicked instinct and heard a hard, plastic-on-metal _thunk._ The music box continued from just outside the door.

I switched the camera over to the right hallway and could just barely see Ballora's outline, standing there right outside the door. I had a feeling that, if her eyes hadn't been closed, she would have been giving me a death glare through the door.

"Damn." I smacked my forehead. "You need to remember things like this, idiot! One slip-up and you're out of commission for good, and you don't want that anymore, remember?" Glancing over at the door in apprehension, I recalled just how tedious it had been to keep up with Funtime Freddy throughout the night, as well as how I'd almost run out of power. How was I supposed to keep track of two of them?

"I was hoping that would have worked the first time." a deep feminine voice said from directly outside the right door. "Then again, I don't know what I really expected. Your performance last night proved that you wouldn't be so easy to kill as we'd hoped."

I froze, hoping that I hadn't heard what I just had. While everything Funtime Freddy had said so far could have easily been bits and pieces of his show dialogue regurgitated by malfunctioning machinery, there was no way that anything about death would have worked its way into the script for what was supposed to be a sickeningly sweet, child-friendly pizzeria. And if... if the robots had the capability to improvise dialogue, then did that mean...?

"Oh, G-God." I said aloud.

"You seem quite terrified." Ballora mused. "Don't try to pretend otherwise, I can hear how fast your breathing is. In fact... I think this might even be what one calls 'hyperventilation,' am I right?"

I would have shut my eyes, but to do so would have been to essentially give Freddy a free path through the left door. "P-please, j-just go." I managed, desperately trying to control my breathing. _I can't afford to have a panic attack, not now._

"...well, I suppose there is no point in prematurely taunting you." the robot ventured after several agonizingly long seconds. "Though, if you ever feel like giving up, just open the door and let me know. I can assure you I won't stretch out your death any longer than necessary if you choose to take that path."

Somehow, I managed an insane-sounding chuckle. "Th-thanks for the offer!" I could feel my lips stretching back from my teeth. "I'll take it into consideration if things ever get to that point!"

"For your own sake, I hope you do." With that, the sound of the music box faded off into the distance as the murderous ballerina animatronic left.

With her departure, I collapsed forward, bracing myself against the desk with my arms, just barely keeping myself from falling onto the floor. "F-fuck's sake." I managed shakily, stretching out a shaking hand to the mouse. Ballora absolutely terrified me, and it wasn't just the casual death threat. No, it was the implications _behind_ it- if she could threaten to kill me, which had absolutely no purpose being programmed into an entertainment robot at a kid's restaurant, then that implied that she could evolve beyond her programming, break through it, add things to it, and if that were the case, then did that mean that she had achieved some kind of higher intelligence? And if that were the case, who was to say that the other three hadn't managed to get there as well?

 _God, this is shaping up to be exactly like some terrible sci-fi movie about robots gaining intelligence and rising up against their creators,_ I thought, and managed to laugh at that in spite of myself.

"Hello again!" Funtime Freddy shrieked manically from the hallway, and with a shaky groan, I stretched out my hand and pressed the door button seconds before he would have stepped into the office. Time to get back to business.

"You can stop just repeating your lines from your daytime shows, you know." I tried, wondering if my hypothesis that Ballora wasn't the only intelligent one was correct. "I know you're capable of more than that, so there's no point in continuing the masquerade."

To my surprise, it was, as Freddy almost immediately adopted a crestfallen expression. "What, really? You saw through me that quickly? And here I thought I was being clever and tricking you into thinking I was just a mindless robot."

I attempted to conceal my surprise, instead trying to play the role of the cunning, all-knowing protagonist that I was all too aware I was not. "Well, Ballora made it quite clear that she was capable of independent thought, so the logical assumption was that the rest of you were as well."

"Oh, you're a clever one, aren't you?" Nice, looked like he'd bought the act. "Well, you're quite right! We're all very aware of our role in all this, just as much as you likely are of yours!" The animatronic surreptitiously brought a hand up to the side of his mouth. "That's to be the guy who gets killed by us, in case you were wondering." he whispered loudly.

"I figured." I nodded, returning my full focus to the cameras. "Don't try anything funny while I'm looking at the cameras, by the way." I added, glancing back over at him. "If you think you'll be able to catch me _off guard,_ you are sorely mistaken." Like I said last chapter, I'm going to get as much use out of that pun as possible.

"Ha! You'd be surpri-" Funtime Freddy stopped dead in his tracks, blinking slowly for a moment as he processed what I'd just said. "Wait. Was that a pun?"

"Indeed it was!" I offered him a triumphant grin.

Funtime Freddy glared daggers at me for several seconds before letting out an ear-splitting screech of anger. "I despise you and everything about you!" he spat. He stood there for several seconds, quivering with rage, before abruptly turning and storming off down the hallway.

"Don't worry, I hate myself too!" I called after him, opening the door in his wake. Managing a nervous chuckle, I returned my focus to the cameras, watching him stomp into the dining hall and glare at nothing in particular. He didn't seem to notice that I was watching him through the camera.

"Geez." I muttered. "Note to self: Freddy does NOT like puns." Of course, that just meant that I'd have to memorize as many as I could and throw them at him whenever he came up to the door. It was kind of hilarious to see this giant robot bear pouting like a two-year-old over a bad pun, after all. On a more pragmatic note, if puns were useful at getting rid of him, that could save me some much-needed power in the future.

"That was a good one." said a voice from behind me.

"Thanks." I said without really thinking about it, and it wasn't until several seconds had passed that I had fully processed that there was another person behind me.

With a terrified yelp, I spun around, flattening my back against the desk behind me. How had one of the animatronics gotten into the office while I wasn't looking? Had they sent Freddy in just to distract me while whoever this was crept in behind me and patiently waited for the right moment?

There was, in fact, another animatronic standing behind me, cloaked in the shadows in the back of the dingy office, tiny white pinpricks glinting in its two hollow eyesockets. As the color drained from my face, it lifted its head slightly and let out a quiet, ominous laugh.

Yet, even in the depths of my panic, I noticed that this animatronic didn't appear to resemble any of the other four. It did look somewhat like the fox animatronic, but the last time I'd seen it, it was still out on its separate stage, and the woman on the phone had said that only Ballora would activate tonight. Besides, there was something off about this robot, something that just didn't feel right.

All this ran through my brain in the span of about a second before I turned and flung myself out the right door, darting down the right hallway, hoping that neither Freddy nor Ballora were in the hallway at that precise time. I nearly toppled over in my panic, clawing desperately for purchase on the slick tiled floor and finally shoving myself upright. Behind me, I could hear plastic robotic feet slapping against the tiles behind me, pursuing at a calm and precise pace. Whichever animatronic this was, it clearly wasn't in any rush.

As I finally looked up, all my hopes of escape were utterly dashed as the gentle tinkling of Ballora's music box reached my ears and the animatronic twirled into sight, blocking off the hallway. "And where, precisely, do you think you're going?" she questioned.

I was trapped. In front of me, a ballerina animatronic who had unambiguously stated that she wanted me dead blocked my only exit. On either side of me, unforgiving walls. Behind me, an unknown foe was calmly stalking me, its intentions unknown. And the night wouldn't be over yet for several hours.

 _This is a hopeless reality. A hopeless future. There is nothing left for you to do but surrender to the inevitable. You've always been so amazing at giving up, after all! You're practically a master by this point! So do just that and GIVE UP!_

I fell to my knees, head slumped. All my old desire to end my pathetic existence came flooding back as if someone had pulled out the plug in the bottom of a bath and sent it surging back into the pipes of my mind.

When I opened my mouth, it wasn't to beg for my life, but rather to make a broken statement. "Just get it over with."

Ballora tilted her head, as though she was about to say something, and then suddenly... stopped. Her head fell limp and her faceplates popped open with a pneumatic-sounding hiss, revealing the twisted metal skeleton beneath.

Strangely, the first feeling that surfaced was disappointment. It was over just like that? So simple? This felt like deus ex machina or something.

And then I was reminded all too soon of the entity behind me as its plastic footsteps finally came to a halt behind me. "That should put her out of commission for the time being." it said in a brisk androgynous voice. "Now, let's deal with you, shall we?"


	3. Conflict Over Compromise

I froze in panic as the footsteps approached, stopping directly behind me. I didn't dare to turn around in fear of what I might see, but I also didn't dare to move in case of triggering whatever it was to attack.

"You're a bit smaller than the last one." noted the voice dryly. "Don't know why they'd think you would work for their plans, but whichever. Not like they have a choice in the matter. Why don't you get up? The floor must be uncomfortably cold this time of year."

I remained motionless, unwilling to turn around.

"Get up." the voice repeated.

Slowly I rose to my feet, heart pounding, and turned around.

There was a robot standing there- a fox animatronic much like the one deactivated on the stage out in the dining hall, except it appeared to be a palette-swapped model that used orange and purple on top of the white instead of pink and red. Its eyes were pitch black with little white lights glowing in the center of each eye, creating a moderately disturbing effect that made me take an instinctive step back.

"Did I startle you? Back in the office, I mean?" the robot queried, tilting its head. "Sorry about that. I don't get out much, so I didn't really consider that you might be scared of me. In hindsight, I probably should have waited a little longer to introduce myself."

"It. Um. I-It's fine." I managed.

The robot seemed to perk up almost immediately. "Alright, great! My name's Lolbit. What's yours?"

I blinked. "'Lolbit?'"

"Well, I believe I was originally called '101bit' back when I was just a computer program designed to help manage the restaurant's systems." Lolbit said, "As I recall, it was kind of a kind of 'haha, our system is better than 16-bit' jab, you know how it goes. Anyway, some technician misread it as 'Lolbit' one day, after a few weeks it ended up sticking, and then they ended up changing my code to make it my permanent name instead of just a joking nickname."

"...alright, that makes sense, I suppose." I still wasn't quite sure why Lolbit was so passive, though. "Don't take this the wrong way, but why aren't you attacking me like the others?"

"Well, there's hardly any fun in that." Lolbit snorted. "In all seriousness, though, I don't see any point in it. It's better to not go making enemies out of every poor schmuck who gets hired to work the graveyard shift, you know? I'm perfectly content with my role in this establishment for now and have no desire to shake up the status quo at all. Besides, in the long run, all attacking you will do is make you end up hating us or something, and then you might do something dumb like bring an ax to work and destroy us all at the end of the week."

"Don't give me ideas." I muttered, only half-joking. Thankfully, the robot took it as a joke. "Oh, you're a comedian, are you? Nice. I think we're going to get along swimmingly. What did you say your name was?"

"I didn't." I said. "What do you do around here? I didn't see you on any of the stages."

Lolbit didn't seem to notice that I'd evaded their question twice now. "I'm a maintenance unit. Like I said, I used to be a computer program that helped out with managing all the systems in the restaurant, but apparently I was really buggy and kept constantly blocking all the screens with 'PLEASE STAND BY' messages, stuff like that. People started complaining after a while, so I was going to be deleted off the system for good, but one of the techies decided to back up my files on a flash drive just in case. Of course, he accidentally put that flash drive in his computer when he got home instead of the one he was trying to use, I managed to get access to the internet, and long story short, I ended up gaining sentience and was brought back here. The people in charge of the place decided that maybe I could just go back to the same old function I used to have with the added role of helping to keep everything repaired, so they uploaded me into a spare endoskeleton and set me loose, and a few years later, here I am, still doing the same thing as always." they concluded, clasping their hands together. "Now, however hypocritical it may be of me to ask this of you, please stop evading my question. What's your name?"

"I'm nobody of importance." I said flatly. "My name doesn't matter."

"Be as it may, I'd like to know anyway." Lolbit said pleasantly, offering what was probably supposed to be a disarming grin.

Well, I couldn't evade it for any longer. I wasn't going to lie- with my luck, Lolbit probably had access to employment records- but I could tell a half-truth. I've found myself to be very good at doing that. "Mike. My name's Mike."

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Mike!" Lolbit turned back to face down the hallway. "Let's go back to the office. I might have cut Ballora, Funtime Freddy, and Funtime Foxy's power to keep them from killing you, but there's still the risk that they might somehow reactivate. In there, at least there's the doors, and if worst comes to worst I can turn on the sprinklers in the office and short-circuit them."

"What about the other one on the main stage?" I asked, following them back down the hallway.

"I'm not going to interfere with Baby." Lolbit snorted. "Many things I am, but 'suicidal' is not one of them. Look, as long as you don't provoke her, she shouldn't come knocking prematurely, and if she does, you probably won't live long enough to regret whatever you did." By this point we had reentered the office, and Lolbit hopped up to sit on the desk. "Take a seat, young Skywalker." they said, gesturing to the swivel chair.

I nodded knowingly. "Ah, I see you are also a man of culture." I said as I plopped down into the chair, realizing as I did that I actually had no clue whether Lolbit was male. "Uh... man? Woman? Person? I can't tell."

The animatronic shrugged. "'All of the above' is probably the best answer. You can call me whichever of those you like, I don't particularly care. Anyway," they continued, folding their hands, "let's get down to business. You're probably wondering why I came anywhere near you if I had no desire to kill you like the others."

"Yeah, that did cross my mind." I admitted.

"Well, I'd like to make a deal with you, Mike." Lolbit leaned forwards slightly, their voice taking on a more conspiratorial tone. "You see, I want you to-"

Whatever they were about to say, however, was interrupted by an extremely loud voice blasting from the dining hall. "LOLBIT!"

Lolbit froze. "Oh. That could be a problem."

"What was that?" I asked.

Lolbit grinned nervously, reaching a hand up behind their neck. "Eh heh heh... it appears I accidentally inverted the power controls for Ballora, Funtime Freddy, and Funtime Foxy instead of just deactivating them all. Meaning that I turned off the first two, but turned on the latter simultaneously."

"Is that bad?" I asked.

"Probably." Lolbit nodded. "Uh... hide under the desk, quick. I'll try to cover for you if Funtime Foxy comes in, but I should be able to fix the problem quickly, so it shouldn't be an issue."

I rolled off the swivel chair and into the cobweb-filled abyss under the desk in possibly the swiftest physical movement I have ever made in my life, tucking myself into the corner and pulling my legs up to my chin. I've always been on the small side, so it wasn't that tight a squeeze, but the cobwebs made it decidedly uncomfortable. Hopefully this would all be over soon.

Harsh, thudding plastic footsteps sounded outside, and then there was a slamming sound and a rattle of glass from the left hall.

"Smacked into the window again, didn't you?" Lolbit asked conversationally, shifting slightly on top of the desk. I couldn't be sure from down here, but it looked like they were repositioning their legs to hide me better.

"...yes." The quiet, vaguely female voice that came from the hallway in response was a far cry from the ear-destroying blast of sound masquerading as a voice I'd heard moments before.

"And now you're feeling very stupid about it, aren't you?" Lolbit continued, still in the same conversational tone.

"...yes."

"And you were just about to tell me to stop mocking you for a mistake that everyone here's made at least once and demand to know where the night guard is, weren't you?" Lolbit asked.

"...yes."

"Are you going to answer every question I ask you with 'yes,' or is that just lingering disorientation from smacking into the window?"

"You don't have to be so condescending about it." Two white-and-pink feet stepped through the doorway, but from my cramped position I couldn't see much more than that. Nevertheless, just from the color scheme I could tell it was the fox robot that had been deactivated out on the side stage in the dining hall.

"Chancellor, being condescending is my specialty." Though I still couldn't see Lolbit, I suddenly knew for certain that they had just winked at the other animatronic.

"You know nobody gets your obscure references, Lolbit. Cut it out."

Lolbit shrugged. "Can't blame an ambiguously-gendered animatronic fox for trying. What's up?"

"You know what's 'up,' Lolbit!" A hint of annoyance entered Funtime Foxy's voice. "You're being obfuscating and elusive yet again and most likely collaborating with the night guard, and the fact that you're in here right now is a clear testimony to that!"

"Huh." said Lolbit contemplatively.

"What?"

"For a moment there, I thought you were going to tell me it had been eight days and I still hadn't recalibrated my puzzles."

"Wh. What."

"What?" I hadn't been aware that there were so many possible inflections that the word "what" could have before hearing this conversation. Truly, a useful learning experience.

"W-we don't even have... why would you... _what?_ " From what I could see of Funtime Foxy's posture, she had been reduced to a state of utter confusion by Lolbit's statement.

"I concede the anachronism, but I couldn't help myself." Lolbit shifted slightly on top of the desk, chuckling gently. "To respond to your earlier statement, I could have just wandered into the office and found it empty. Which is actually what happened."

"Then tell me, where'd the night guard go?" questioned Funtime Foxy in a pleasant tone.

"Hell if I know." Lolbit shrugged again, fingers twitching by their sides as if they wanted to clench them into fists. "It's entirely possible he had to take a dump and he's in the bathroom right now. Wouldn't be the first time, and we're all far too aware of that after what happened last time. So let's remind ourselves of a few things, shall we?"

"Actually, let's not!" shuddered Funtime Foxy. "Also, don't try to distract from the matter at hand with out-of-character toilet humor."

"You're the one who's acting out-of-character right now, if anything, but I digress." Lolbit hopped off the table and landed neatly on the tiled floor with a plastic _clunk_ , conveniently shifting their tail over to block off view of me even more. "...hang on, you've been doing that thing where you mentally rehearse everything that you're planning on saying several times before you actually talk to anyone again, haven't you?"

"N-no, of course I-"

"You did, didn't you?" Lolbit inquired lazily. "That's why you took so long to get here. You came up with all the lines you wanted to say beforehand before you came out here. Didn't you?"

"I. Um." There was a long, awkward silence. "Fructose."

"'Fructose?'" Lolbit giggled. "Don't tell me you deleted all the swear words you've learned from your vocabulary again."

"I don't want to slip up and swear around the kids!" the animatronic protested. "A-anyway, you're distracting from the topic at hand yet again! Where's the night guard?"

"Goes right there. See, I drew it with a magic marker." Lolbit pointed at the wall, which was blatantly marker-markings free.

"...okay, I don't have a clue what the heck that was a reference to or why you felt it necessary to arbitrarily shove it in just now, and frankly, I don't think I want to know." Funtime Foxy's voice shifted from its current quiet, just barely female tone to the voice I'd heard before- obnoxiously loud and very distinctively male- as she jabbed an accusing finger at Lolbit. "STOP SCREWING AROUND, LOLBIT! WHERE'S THE NIGHT GUARD AND WHY DID ALL THE OTHERS DEACTIVATE?"

Lolbit raised their hands in a placating gesture. "Alright, geez! You don't have to pull out the unnecessary intimidation voice on me! He's under the desk."

I pressed myself as far as I could back into the corner in disbelief, ignoring the cobwebs sticking to my hair and face. _Did they really just sell me out? Was this all just a setup? I thought I could trust them!_

"NO, HE'S NOT!" Funtime Foxy's voice only got louder and more distorted, making me wince. "NO ADULT COULD FIT UNDER THAT DESK! ONLY A CHILD OR A SHORT TEENAGER!"

 _Yeah, just deflate my already-practically nonexistent ego even more, why don't you_ was the first thought that came to mind, shortly followed by _wait, why did she... he? Hang on, they've been using both a male and female voice, which are- whatever! Why did they refuse to believe Lolbit so quickly?_

"No, I swear, he really is under there." said Lolbit. "He doesn't fit under that well, but he's pretty short, so he managed. All you have to do is just look down. What harm can that do?"

"Well, now you've got me paranoid." Funtime Foxy's voice reverted to the more quiet tone, which my ears greatly appreciated. "You hid something under there, didn't you? Like an insulting sign, or a whoopee cushion, or an automated sentry turret, didn't you?"

"What? Where would I even get my hands on an _automated sentry turret,_ of all things?"

"I don't know!" Funtime Foxy shouted defensively. "One of the kids was talking about a video game she was playing that had them in it today, and it just... popped into my head! You know I don't do good with talking unless I'm reading off a script or using pre-prepared lines!"

"Regardless, he really is under there, I promise you. I also promise that I didn't hide anything under there." Lolbit said in what didn't sound like a very trustworthy tone to me.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" Funtime Foxy scowled. "You never keep promises, Lolbit. Never. Or are you expecting me to forget what happened the last time you promised something?"

"That was one time!"

"More like TWENTY-one times over the course of half as many months, if you'd bothered to count! Which I did!"

"Whatever! That doesn't matter!" To my horror, Lolbit calmly walked over to the other side of the room and leaned against the far wall. "Again, all you need is to take a quick glance down there. I swear on our creator's grave that I didn't put anything there." I was about ready to give up hope right there and then, but Lolbit's eyes flickered down to look at me for just a second. They proffered a brief wink before returning their focus to their mechanical comrade, which was enough to restore a seed of belief in me. _Maybe they didn't betray me after all. Maybe I can still get out of this alive._

"One, he isn't dead yet, though he will be as soon as we get out of here," said Funtime Foxy, "two, you never swear by anything and actually mean it, and three, no. I refuse to believe that you didn't put something down there."

"Well, if you're not going to bother to look, then you've got no reason to be here." scoffed Lolbit, and for just a moment I saw the white lights in their eyes flicker. "You might as well deactivate and go back to your stage in that case."

Funtime Foxy blinked slowly. "You know what, you're right. I think I'll go ahead and do that." With that, the animatronic was gone, walking off down the hallway to the dining hall.

Lolbit remained there leaning against the wall for a few seconds before darting over to the desk and tapping away at the laptop's keyboard. A moment later, they said, "Alright, she's gone. You can come out now."

I crawled out from under the desk unceremoniously, running my fingers through my hair to remove the cobwebs. "What the hell was that?"

"'That' was me saving your ass, Mike." Lolbit glanced back at me for a moment before returning their focus to the laptop. "You could be a little more grateful, you know."

"Really? Because from down here it looked like you were trying to sell me out."

Closing their eyes and grinning, Lolbit said, "Yes, that's what it'd look like to a novice, wouldn't it? However, this is actually the culmination of years of conditioning the others into believing in nonexistent behavioral patterns I exhibit."

I blinked in confusion. "What?"

"Yeah, I could've phrased that better." Lolbit opened one eye in a reverse wink of sorts. "Pretty much since I got this body, I've been fooling the other four into believing that I follow certain patterns of speech and unconsciously make certain gestures whenever I'm lying. However, I actually don't do anything of the sort when I lie- it just wasn't coded into me. Of course, they don't know that, so now I can not only get away with lying about just about anything and having them believe me, but also making them think I'm lying about things when I'm not, which was what you just saw. Thanks to years of conditioning, Funtime Foxy saw just about every nervous trait I tricked all of them into thinking I display when I'm lying, and she fell for it hook, line, and sinker."

"Huh." I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh. "You heinous bastard, you." I said with no small admiration.

"Yeah, love you too, darling," responded Lolbit sarcastically. "Clever, though, isn't it?"

"Definitely, if not a bit morally questionable." Even as I said that, I wondered why. Why bother worrying about the morals behind manipulating them when they were actively trying to kill me?

"Hey, it's for the greater good, isn't it?" Lolbit said. "Besides, without that, you'd be dead right now, so you're not exactly in a position where you can question it."

"Point taken." was all I said as I shifted next to them to look at the laptop screen. It was switched to focus on Funtime Foxy's stage, where she had deactivated. "How'd you make Funtime Foxy leave like that?"

"I've got control over the whole facility, remember?" Lolbit shut the laptop lid. "I could've just hacked her and forced her to go back to her stage, but she would've definitely noticed something was up then, so I chose to just go the subliminal message route instead and casually sneak the instructions in when she wasn't actively paying attention. If she ever figures out what I did, it'll be days from now."

"That makes sense." I nodded slowly. "So you're kind of like a puppet master for the whole building, in a way?"

Lolbit glanced to the side nervously. "I, uh, wouldn't say that, no. I don't control everything. But I do have access to a lot of things as a maintenance unit, so I'm a lot more handy than you might think."

"Alright." I glanced out at the hallway. "So, about Funtime Foxy..."

"You're confused about her gender, aren't you?" Lolbit asked flatly.

"...actually, I wasn't going to ask about it, but now that you've brought it up, I might as well." I turned back to face them. "She was using both female and male voices. Is that some part of her performances or something, or...?"

"Nah, it's much simpler than that." shrugged Lolbit. "Funtime Foxy tends to change her gender on a daily basis, complete with swapping between voices and everything. The male voice is just pretty intimidating when she cranks up the volume and distorts it a little, so she likes pulling that one out now and then even if it's not a male day if she thinks she needs to scare someone into submission. Right now, she's a girl, but tomorrow, who knows?"

"Alright, sounds reasonable." I glanced back out at the hallway again. "Now, the thing I was originally going to ask: why do you two look so similar? You look almost exactly the same, except for the colors."

"Oh, that's simpler than you might think." Lolbit seemed to relax again. "You see, back when the company was initially making Funtime Foxy, they screwed up the color scheme the first time and sent in a model with an orange and purple color scheme. Naturally, they panicked when they realized their mistake, but they weren't going to remake the whole robot, so they just pulled off all the body plates and made new ones. Then, when I got uploaded into a body of my own, somebody figured that the kids might get scared if they saw an endoskeleton wandering around in all its metallic glory, remembered the wrongly colored body plates they'd kept all this time, and figured they could reuse them on me."

"Okay, that's a lot more simple than I thought it was going to be."

Lolbit frowned. "Well, what did you expect?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. Forget about it. What was it you were going to talk to me about earlier before we were interrupted? Something about you wanting to make a deal with me?"

"Right, that. Almost forgot in all the confusion, heh." Lolbit returned to sitting on the desk, so I figured I might as well take a seat again as well. "To make a long story short, I want you to get us out of this place."

Whatever I'd been expecting, it wasn't that. "What? Why?"

"Golly, I wonder." snarked the robot. "Fact is, this place is burning us out both mentally and physically, and the restaurant's declining anyway. Probably going to shut down by year's end by my most optimistic estimates. When that happens, we'll all either be tossed in a scrapyard or pulled apart for parts, and frankly, I don't really see either of those as a favorable outcome. That's where you come in- you take us all out of the building at the end of the week and proceed to commit arson by burning this place to the ground. Everyone will assume we were destroyed in the fire, so nobody will come looking for us, and you now get five friendly robot roommates! Everybody wins!"

I blinked in shock. "What? Why would I be helping the people who are trying to kill me? If it were just you, I'd probably agree, since you haven't tried to kill me yet, but all of you? I don't think I'm willing to put my life on the line to that extent, you know? And also, I'm not committing arson! I've got a clean criminal record, and I'm not screwing that up!"

"All good points, which I will all be able to address." Lolbit began ticking points off on their fingers. "First, you'd help us because they usually aren't homicidal, or at least not to this extent, and besides, they'd be grateful enough to you for getting them out of there that they probably wouldn't try to kill you ever again."

"'Probably?'"

"Second, you wouldn't be putting your life on the line." continued Lolbit, completely ignoring me. "I'd be there, and if worst came to worst I could just shut them all off and give them a few hours to cool down. Third, it's not like anybody would be able to pin the blame on you- as long as I close and open the right vents, the whole place should burn to the ground pretty quickly and there shouldn't be anything left. You'd probably get questioned ordinarily, since you're the guard, but I've already got an alibi for you- call in sick at the last minute. The guys in charge won't be able to find a replacement in time, so they'll just let the place go unguarded for the night because they're cheapskates, and you'll be able to come in and get us all out. The security footage won't be a problem, because all the cameras will be destroyed in the fire."

I laughed weakly. "Wow. You, uh, really thought this one through, didn't you?"

"This is the culmination of a month's worth of planning, Mike." Lolbit said. "And I've been trying to get us out of here for much longer than that." They turned big, pleading eyes on me. "All we want is to be free, to live our lives like normal people. Is that really too much to ask? Can't you help us, please?"

I didn't know what to say.

Well, no, that was a lie. What I wanted to say was "No, I'm not getting these robots out of here, because chances are they'll still try to kill me, and even if they don't, I'm paranoid enough that I'll never be able to trust them. I could probably get just you out of here if you ask nicely, provided that you aren't planning to stab me in the back when I'm not looking, but that's not a definite answer because I don't know if you're the kind of person I'd be able to tolerate living in the same building with yet."

That's what I could have said, tactless as it would have been, but I didn't. Instead, I turned to my time-proven alternative: stalling for time. "I... uh, can you give me some time to think about this?" I asked in as careful of a neutral tone as I could manage.

"That's just a polite way to say 'no' that allows you to put off having to refuse, potentially forever, and I'm sick of building up hope only to be let down in the end." Lolbit's ears drooped. "Whatever. I understand. I... honestly don't know why I expected anything else. It's not like this has ever worked before, after all." They shuffled out of the room, pausing momentarily in the doorway. "Goodbye, Mike."

If this were a movie or something like that, this would have been the part where I got up, chased after Lolbit, and told them that I was sorry and that I'd get everyone out. But life doesn't work that way, and I'm not some idealistic idiot. There were a thousand ways Lolbit's insane plan could go wrong just at a simple glance, and frankly, I didn't have much of a reason to care what happened to these robots. Hell, I didn't even completely trust Lolbit.

So I didn't move. I just stood there and watched as they left.

The instant Lolbit was out of sight, I turned my attention to the laptop and quickly switched through all the cameras as quickly as I could, figuring that no doubt Lolbit would have reactivated all the robots in an angry reaction to my refusal. Yet, to my surprise, they remained exactly where they were- Ballora was still stuck at the hallway's end, Funtime Freddy was still frozen at the edge of the dining hall, glaring eternally at the wall, and Funtime Foxy was slumped over on her stage, deactivated once more.

I was genuinely surprised by this. Why hadn't Lolbit decided to take revenge? Had they decided to screw with something else to kill me in vengeance instead? What they'd said about controlling the air vents sprung to mind quickly. Did they intend to close those off and suffocate me?

I spent the rest of the night searching the establishment in pure paranoia for potential threats, and it wasn't until the bell to signal the end of my shift chimed that I finally allowed myself to relax a little. Nevertheless, confused theories raced through my mind. Why hadn't they tried to take revenge? Did they just not think it was worth it? Or did they think the creeping suspense was a better punishment?

It wasn't until I had clocked out and was in my car, preparing to pull out of the parking lot, that the thought that maybe they hadn't wanted to try to get back at me at all surfaced, but I shoved it aside. Of course they had in some way or another, it was best not to think otherwise. Hadn't I learned already that, whenever I got my hopes up for something like this, they always ended up brutally crushed?

I pulled out of the parking lot and turned onto the road. _Whatever. I have better things to do than worry about that right now. I'm going to need to report on what I've found so far at the day's end, and I don't think that what I have learned so far is going to cut it. Looks like I'm going to have to do some research on my own time._

A barely audibly screech of rage, coming from the pizzeria, echoed through the darkness. I shivered with instinctive paranoia and pressed down harder on the accelerator, but whatever I had been anticipating never came.


	4. Time's Up

**A/N: Sorry about how long it's been since the last update, depression's been kicking my ass lately and I wasn't able to focus on writing until now.**

* * *

Stumbling back through the door into the pizzeria, still gasping for breath from having run all the way from my car (I'm not exactly in the best shape, much to my father's chagrin), I glanced down at my cheap watch. I was ten minutes early, that ought to be more than enough time. I made sure my path to the office was clear first, just in case I had to run. Thankfully, all of the robots were back on stage where they were supposed to be, though I still couldn't find Lolbit.

Well, I needed to track them down regardless. I crossed the dining hall to the door marked "EMPLOYEES ONLY" off to the side of the main stage- as I recalled, the backstage area was there, and thus Lolbit ought to be there as well, assuming I was logicing correctly today. (Yes, I know "logicing" isn't a word, shut up.) I really hoped they were, because I didn't have any clue where else to look. Thankfully, as I slammed the door open and flicked the light on, I could see them lying against the wall at the far corner of the room, eyes shut and face plates hanging slightly open.

"Lolbit?" I asked hesitantly.

The animatronic's eyes clicked open immediately, and their face plates snapped back into place. "What?"

"Lolbit, it's me, Mike."

"...oh." A scowl crossed their face. "Let me guess, you came back to try to tell me more about how you just want to think about whether you want to help us? Spare me. I don't want to hear it."

"No, no, that's not-"

"But it is, isn't it?" Lolbit glared at me. "Look me in the eyes and truthfully say that you're only here to tell me that you want to help get us out of here."

So I did just that. "I wanted to tell you that I've changed my mind. I'll help you get out of here." I didn't intend to tell them that this wasn't exactly my choice, of course- no need for them to know that.

Lolbit's expression flickered rapidly through shock to happiness to disbelief. "R-really? You're not joking?"

"Why would I joke about this?"

Their face shifted to wariness. "Well, why did you change your mind?"

Thankfully, I'd come prepared with a reason. "As I was pulling up into my driveway back home, I realized how torturous this must be- for the other four, redoing the same shows over and over again for a screaming, unappreciative audience that will probably forget about them in just a few years, and for you, repairing and maintaining everything again and again, watching everything break again and again, watching the other four suffer through this existence. I can't imagine how that would feel. Once I realized just how hellish an existence this must be, it didn't take long for me to change my mind."

Lolbit sighed, glancing off to the side. "Normally, I'd be more wary of this sudden change, but I can't afford to pass this up if you genuinely want to help us." They looked back up at me. "Alright. Thanks for changing your mind, Mike. You should probably get to your office quickly, the others will be activating soon and I don't want you to get killed. I'll see what I can do back here to help you out."

I checked my watch again. "Alright. I'll see you later, then?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you when we'll make our move."

"You do that." I hesitated in the doorway, turning back to glance at them. "Thanks for trusting me," I said quietly before taking off down the hallway, not looking back once.

 _I'm running around an awful lot lately,_ I reflected as I fell into my chair and opened up the laptop. _If this is going to become a daily thing, I should really get in better shape. Then again, I'm only going to be sticking around for the rest of the week, so it's probably not worth it._

The phone rang, and with an annoyed sigh I reached over and picked it up. "Let's see what Captain Cryptic has to say this time." I muttered.

"Why did you not go directly to your office?" the voice asked.

"'Cause I didn't feel like it." I grunted. I didn't much feel like coming up with a better excuse, though I knew I probably could have. "You got a problem with that?"

"I'm asking solely for your safety." The woman's voice took on a harsher tone. "If you were collaborating with that repair unit again, I'm warning you now, don't believe a word it says. It's manipulative, untrustworthy, and a liar. Whatever it's promised you, it will almost certainly backstab you as soon as you've followed through with your end of the bargain and leave you to rot."

I was feeling a little reckless tonight, so I decided to challenge her. "And who says I can trust you over them?" I asked innocuously, leaning back in my chair and wrapping the phone cord around my finger. "You've given me no reason to trust you other than the advice you've given me, and the animatronics could change their tactics at any minute."

"But they haven't." the voice said. "And what reason has Lolbit given you to trust it, other than deactivating a couple robots and showing the common courtesy to not automatically strike back at you despite how much of a disappointment you proved yourself to be?"

"Th-they didn't try to get revenge on me at all?" That surprised me a lot more than I was willing to admit. I just hadn't brought it up to be polite back in the backstage, but now that I thought about it, if they had done something, wouldn't they have apologized for it after I agreed to help them, even if I did survive?

"Of course not, dummy." said the woman condescendingly. "Besides, even if it wasn't a show of common decency, who's to say it wasn't just another attempt to make you trust it? The fact is," she continued, "you can't trust it. You can only trust me. Do you understand?"

"Alright, understood." I backed down almost immediately, internally cursing my cowardice. "What advice do you have for me tonight?"

Thankfully, the voice seemed to forget about what I'd said almost immediately. "The last of the animatronics- Funtime Foxy- will be activating tonight. He doesn't seem to move very often, fortunately for you- that is, unless you don't look at his camera often enough. If that happens, then he will slowly make his way off his stage and down the hallway towards you."

 _So they're male today, then?_ I thought, fortunately not saying it out loud- otherwise, I would've had to explain to the voice how I knew that.

"Okay, seems simple enough." Just to make sure, I leaned forward and clicked over to Funtime Foxy's camera. He was still slumped over, appearing not to be moving. "Is that all? What about the other animatronic- the, uh..." I snapped my fingers, trying to remember her name. For some reason, I was suddenly blanking on it.

"Baby?" the voice asked quietly.

"Yeah, that one. What do I do for her?"

"You don't need to worry about that." the voice said. "Just focus on getting through your third night, because after tonight, things are going to change quite a lot." With that, she hung up.

"Aw, and I didn't even get a 'goodbye' or 'good luck.'" I sighed. "Oh, well, guess there's always next time. Time to get to work."

* * *

Though my third night on the job wasn't as bad as it could have been, it certainly wasn't a cakewalk, either. Ballora was even more relentless than before, and Funtime Foxy nearly caught me off guard (I told you I'm going to keep using that pun) on multiple occasions. However, Funtime Freddy simply stood there on the stage for quite some time without even moving, and when he approached my door for the first time, I noticed that he looked almost... regretful, if robots can even look regretful, before I shut the door in his face. Unfortunately, that didn't get rid of him. "Excuse me! Mr. New Night Guard!"

I glanced over, deciding to humor him. "Yeah? What's up?"

"I would like to apologize for yelling at you yesterday." the robot bear said, sounding as if he'd rehearsed what he was going to say before coming to me. "It was immature of me to get so angry at you over a simple pun, and I'm very sorry about the whole thing."

 _Is he serious?_ "Uh... don't worry about it, alright?" I leaned to the side to shut the other door as Ballora approached down the hallway. "Y'know something? You're an alright guy, for a robot that's trying to kill me."

"And you're an alright guy, for a night guard that keeps refusing to die!" Funtime Freddy replied happily. "It makes me almost sad that we're going to skin you and wear you as a meat suit to escape the pizzeria."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, just because of what a ridiculous idea it was that they'd even try that kind of thing. Did they not know what decomposition was or something? "You're a funny guy, Freddy, you really are." Returning my attention to the cameras, I noticed that Funtime Foxy had left his stage. Swapping over to the hallway camera, I watched detachedly as he came charging down the hallway. "You might want to move out of the way, Funtime Foxy's coming." I guess I could have just let them slam into each other, but then they'd both be lying on the floor for however long in front of my door and I wouldn't be able to open it until they left.

Funtime Freddy shuffled back quickly just as Funtime Foxy slammed headlong into the door. "Ow! _Scheiße!_ "

"I see you've taken to swearing in German instead of just censoring yourself." Funtime Freddy observed.

"Yeah, shouting 'fructose' and 'son of a bicycle' all the time was getting a bit gimmicky." Funtime Foxy replied in what seemed to be a much quieter version of the male voice he'd used yesterday. "I did the research and this county's German-speaking population is nonexistent, so there's zero risk of anybody understanding what I'm saying."

"What if people come in from the surrounding counties, or somebody speaks German as a second language?" I contributed, deciding not to point out that swearing in German was just as gimmicky as shouting random words.

Funtime Foxy froze. "Oh. I didn't think of that." There was a long, distinctly awkward pause, and then he abruptly shouted, "WAIT A MINUTE!" There was a brief scuffling noise, and then his face was pressed up against the window, glaring at me.

"Hello there." I said in my best Obi-Wan voice, not breaking eye contact as I reached back to open the other door.

"You! You were under the desk when I was scolding Lolbit yesterday all along, weren't you?!" demanded the animatronic fox.

"Who?" I asked innocently.

"Orange animatronic fox! Same height as me!" Funtime Foxy gestured furiously.

"Never heard of them." I said. "Do they even exist?" Perhaps this was a bit immature of me, but I slipped into a babyish tone as I said, "Aw, do you have an imaginawy fwiend?"

Funtime Foxy hissed- actually _hissed_ at me like a cat. Funny, I'd been under the impression that he was a fox.

"I think I prefer you when you're in full-on anxiety mode." Funtime Freddy said quietly. I had been under the impression that it wasn't possible for him to be any quieter than a loud speaking voice.

Funtime Foxy's head snapped around almost 180 degrees as he glared at him. It was a rather disturbing image. "Well, excuse me for losing my cool when _he_ keeps thwarting our plans!"

"That's me, Mr. Thwart-your-plans McThwartypants." I said. "You do realize just how much you sound like a cartoon villain, right?"

"I... uh... you're right, actually." admitted Funtime Foxy, shoulders slumping.

"I'm just saying. If you want to sound cooler while you're trying to murder people, you should just not use the word 'thwart' at all."

"Alright, you know what?" announced the fox animatronic. "I'm leaving. Freddy, keep doing... whatever you were doing before I got here." With that, he was gone.

"You could've been a little nicer to him, you know." Funtime Freddy pointed out. "He's only, uh... eighteen? Seventeen? Nineteen? I dunno, age gets a bit weird when you're a robot. Point is, be nice to him."

"And just how old are you, exactly?" I asked.

The animatronic shrugged. "Somewhere between twelve and fourteen, mentally speaking, though all of us were only made seven and three-quarters years ago. I don't know how long it's actually been," he admitted after a brief pause, "but seven and three-quarters is a nice, round number, so I'll use that. Anyway-"

I would've pointed out that seven and three-quarters wasn't a nice, round number, but I had more pressing matters on my mind. "You're younger than him and you're still managing to be more mature." I pointed out. "I'm just saying, he really-"

Funtime Freddy flipped open his face plates. "Be nicer to him or I'm going to start breaking my attack pattern, and then once I catch you, I'm going to break your skull as well. Got it?"

"Um." I took a moment to collect myself, just to make sure I didn't stutter when I responded. "Alright, if you insist." I said, even managing to sound vaguely bored.

Immediately, Funtime Freddy was all smiles again as he flipped his face plates closed. "Great! I'm so glad we could work this out peacefully like reasonable people."

"Uh. Sure." I wasn't going to point out that no part of any of that had been "peaceful" or "reasonable."

With that, Funtime Freddy spun around to walk back down the hallway. "See you later, Mr. New Night Guard!"

"Mike." I said.

"Huh?"

"My name's Mike." My dad had once told me that if you named an animal, it'd make it emotionally much more difficult to harm or kill it, so maybe a similar thing would work here?

"Alright, then! See you later, Mike!" With that, Funtime Freddy left, and I was free to open the door once more.

 _This kind of thing should really be happening more often,_ I pondered, thinking back to the two robots' earlier interaction as I checked Funtime Foxy's camera. He was glaring into the lens, but he hadn't left his stage yet. _I mean, the robots are always running into each other at the doors, you'd think they'd have far more interactions like that. Then again, Ballora hasn't really been talking much, and Funtime Freddy didn't leave his stage this night before now, so maybe it's just that whenever him and Funtime Foxy interact, they always have those kinds of conversations?_ They reminded me of the kind of weird conversations I used to have with my sister. Nothing can really capture the pure strangeness of sibling interactions.

I glanced down at my power meter and promptly felt dread seep through me, almost like a roiling sensation throughout my entire body. _Thirty-two percent already? HOW? It's not even four AM yet!_ Funtime Freddy and Funtime Foxy had been bickering long enough that I could see why it had put a significant dent in my power, but surely it wouldn't have drained this much, right?

Ballora circled around to the right door, distracting me from that unfortunate fact long enough to close the door on her before I started panicking again. _This is not good. I don't think any amount of power conservation can prolong the inevitable- that is, that the power's going to go out. I better get to tracing out an exit route for myself for when it does._

I immediately got to scrutinizing the map. The least dangerous route would be to go out the right hall and make a break for the kitchen, then go out the door where they would bring the shipments of food through- I'd gotten a brief look at it from the outside when I was walking in the other day, so I knew what to expect. I'd just have to hope I wouldn't trip over anything in the total darkness. As long as I was already moving the instant the power went out, with luck, I'd live to see another day.

Of course, as luck would have it, I wouldn't have to worry about that. As Ballora left, I jabbed at the door button with my foot to open it for no real reason other than because I didn't went to get out of my chair. Turning back to Funtime Foxy's camera, I flinched as I realized he was gone. I switched to the hall camera, but to my surprise, I couldn't see him running down the hallway, either.

 _Huh. Did he just hide behind one of the cameras so I couldn't see him to scare me or something?_ Deciding that I was going to shut the door anyway just to make sure, I reached for the left door with my other foot and jabbed it hesitantly. "Hopefully that'll keep him out, just in case." I said.

With that, I turned back to my laptop. This wasn't looking good for me. I wasn't going to be able to keep that door closed all night, not with my already-low power level, but I wasn't opening it until I knew for sure where Funtime Foxy was.

It was then that I felt something press down on the top of my swivel chair right behind me, and I realized with sudden clarity exactly where he was.

"You're right behind me, aren't you?" I asked. I didn't even bother to turn around.

My chair was abruptly spun around, and there he was, just like I thought, standing right behind my chair. I'm a genius, aren't I?

I froze. "Shit." Despite everything, I'd been hoping that... I don't know, it was Lolbit or something. But no, it was Funtime Foxy. I had been right all along, at a time when I would have definitely preferred to be wrong.

"Open the door, you're wasting power." The animatronic casually reached over and pressed the button before I could even move. "There, that's much better, isn't it?"

"How did you get inside?" I demanded, hoping to stave off my inevitable demise for just a few more minutes, hoping that it would be just enough time for me to think of something to save myself.

"Oh, it was a lot easier than I expected," Funtime Foxy gloated. "All I had to do was go down the wrong hallway, and you didn't even see a thing! I was doubtful at first that you'd be that stupid, but I guess not! I should've known better than to doubt Baby's advice."

As I desperately tried to think of something, anything, to get out of this, Funtime Foxy raised his head. Shifting into that unnecessarily loud, distorted voice, he boomed, "It's over, everyone. I've got him."

Desperation overtook me, and I lunged at him, hoping that I'd somehow be able to overpower the animatronic. Instead, Funtime Foxy merely stared at me bemusedly before backhanding me with surprising force. I stumbled sideways, my skull bounced off of the desk, and my vision went all blurry as I slumped to the floor.


End file.
